Monday, October 2, 2006

What's wrong with Kinky Friedman

It was cute, for a while, liberals and independents. Yeah, Kinky Friedman, the big middle finger to politics as usual. Jewish cowboy, silly name, catchy slogans. "Why not Kinky?"


Kinky likes invading and occupying and warmongering

When asked about his opinion of George W. Bush, Friedman said, "I agree with most of his political positions overseas, his foreign policy.... What he’s been doing in the Near East and in the Middle East, he’s handling that well, I think." To think that our current imperial adventurism is anything but a clusterfuck of epic proportions requires ignorance, stupidity, or insanity. Any of the three would tend to make Friedman an unattractive gubernatorial candidate, I should think.

Kinky wants kids talking to themselves instead of learning

"I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school." Well, that was simple, wasn't it? Friedman is opposed to the separation of church and state, and in favor of state organizations engaging in religious activities. "I say what's wrong with a kid believing in something?" How about the kids believe in things that are actually real, like getting an education. That is the point of school, is it not? What does school have to do with whether or not a child believes in God or the Tooth Fairy on her own time? Is there something about learning stuff that makes it impossible for a kid to believe in "something?" If only.

Of course, Friedman isn't content with simple prayer. "The Ten Commandments. The Ten Commandments being taken out of the public schools. I want them back.... They were taken out, not by separation of church and state, but by political correctness gone awry. One atheist stands up and says, 'I don't like the Ten Commandments,' and suddenly out they go. And, of course, we all know what happens to an atheist when he dies. His tombstone usually reads, 'All dressed up and no place to go.'"

Kinky doesn't like brown people

"Good fences make good neighbors." Yes, Friedman is yet another xenophobe, trying to keep out the hard-working immigrants forced to enter the country illegally due to our own pathetic immigration policies and "free trade" agreements that make it desirable to move to avoid things like, you know, dying. After all, in Friedman's expert opinion, "Mexico is not a poor country."

But Friedman doesn't even hide his contempt for these people. "All of these politicians are afraid of offending Hispanics... I want the border off the evening news until we get something resolved." And he's willing to resolve it the old-fashioned way, too. "My immigration policy is 'Remember the Alamo'," he said. He'd use the "National Guard, the Texas Rangers, the entire Polish army, whatever it takes." Because it's better these people die than feed their families, or at the very least they'd better keep away from us so we can pretend we're blameless.

His actual plan is only slightly less ridiculous than his bluster: "I will divide the border into five jurisdictions, assigning one Mexican general to each and providing a trust fund for that general. Every time a person crosses illegally, we subtract $5,000 from the trust fund." No, really.

Kinky wants to keep killing people

Friedman supports the death penalty and opposes gun control. Enough said.


Friedman has a handful of issues that liberals really like and he makes some jokes. That is the extent of his qualifications for governor, and in light of the above, I am frankly disgusted that so many people have it in their heads that Texas would be better with him in charge. He's a clown -- let's laugh at him and find someone who has something worthwhile to say when we're looking for, oh, I don't know, the executive branch of our state government.