Tuesday, June 3, 2008

KFC discovers magical way to eat chicken without keeping and killing chickens

Yes, it must be true! PETA — who claims to be "the" animal rights organization, who declares that "animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, use for entertainment, or abuse in any way" — says that it has won an "enormous victory" and calls for an end to its boycott of KFC Canada, though the cruelty in other nations continues. If PETA says its OK to eat at KFC in Canada, it can only mean that KFC Canada no longer uses animals for food, right? It must mean that KFC Canada now recognizes the rights of chickens not to be eaten, right? After all, it is a "historic victory!"

Not so fast.

The enormous victory that PETA is celebrating consists of "increasing product quality and yield" and producing "more tender breast meat" by gassing chickens to death. "All we want is for KFC worldwide to do what KFC Canada has done," says a PETA spokesperson.

That's right, folks. All PETA wants is for people to eat chickens that were gassed to death. Killing chickens doesn't count as abusing them in any way, according to PETA. And apparently, eating chickens doesn't count as eating them, either. Why else would PETA call for ending a boycott of a corporation that does these things?

Needless to say, it is no surprise that PETA also encourages people concerned with animal rights to give money to chicken-killing KFC by ordering their new mock chicken wrap, served with mayonnaise. It's "totally cruelty-free" according to PETA, who apparently forgot their own subsite declaring eggs — the primary ingredient in mayonnaise — cruel.

God, PETA, I want to like you. You make it impossible.

No comments:

Post a Comment