The level of absurd hypocrisy is visible from the very first criterion that an animal exploiter must meet to be "certified humane."
Last time I checked, living was an animal's natural behavior. By the group's own standard, no meat can be certified "humane." If I'm not mistaken, the production of milk for calves, and the suckling thereof, is an animal's natural behavior; therefore, dairy production can't be certified "humane."
- Allow animals to engage in their natural behaviors
But of course both of these things are certified, along with the "liquid egg product," because "humane" certification, like all animal welfare reforms, are not meant to benefit the animals, but to benefit the exploiters of animals by making the exploitation more palatable to consumers. The certification of Eggology eggs as "humane" is a great victory for Eggology's profit-making potential, not for the chickens who the company exploits. But try telling that to "radical animal rights groups" like PETA who routinely give awards to companies for their efforts to more efficiently kill and sell animals.
Incidentally, this is made overt in the second criterion for "humane" certification:
You know what would really limit the stress put on animals? Not fucking using them in the first place!
- Raising animals with sufficient space, shelter and gentle handling to limit stress