Wednesday, December 29, 2004

My God

I had no idea it was this bad.

"The Party understands that the Ten Commandments are the basis of our basic freedoms and the cornerstone of our Western legal tradition. We therefore oppose any governmental action to restrict, prohibit, or remove public display of the Decalogue or other religious symbols."

I already covered that one.

"The Republican Party of Texas affirms that the United States of America is a Christian nation, and the public acknowledgement of God is undeniable in our history. Our nation was founded on fundamental Judeo-Christian principles based on the Holy Bible."

I wonder why the Treaty of Tripoli, ratified by the Senate without argument and signed by President John Adams states, "[T]he Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion . . ."? It's also funny how "God" and "Christianity" are never mentioned in the Constitution, the only document that actually "founded" the nation.

"The Party believes that forcible rape is a heinous crime [. . .]"

As opposed to that non-forcible rape, of course.

"The Party recognizes that addictive drug, alcohol, and pornography use is dangerous and affects all sectors of society."

Okay, drugs and alcohol can kill, but pornography? Come on.

"The Party believes that the practice of sodomy tears at the fabric of society [. . .]"

Yes, oral and anal sex in private have something to do with the fabric of society. That something is called "nothing." Unless they meant cotton, "the fabric of our lives," which does tend to stain rather easily. It tears rather easily as well. Maybe that is what they meant!

"We oppose any criminal or civil penalties against those who oppose homosexuality out of faith, conviction, or belief in traditional values."

Imagine if you replaced "homosexuality" with "niggers."

"The Party affirms its support for a human life amendment to the Constitution and we endorse making clear that the Fourteenth Amendment’s protection applies to unborn children."

The balls of undifferentiated cells inhabiting the nation's uteruses will no doubt be joyous at their expanded freedoms. They would probably throw a big party, if they were capable of thought, emotion, sensation, or movement.

"The Party urges the Legislature to act in 2005 to give the State Board of Education authority to establish textbook adoption standards that allow rejection of textbooks that undermine belief in America and our Constitutional Republic, promulgate anti-American propaganda, and contain unchallenged biased viewpoints."

Just imagine the horror of unchallenged biased viewpoints like unquestioning support of America or promulgating pro-American propaganda. Oh. You say those are good biased viewpoints? Well, nevermind then.

"We therefore recommend that local school boards and classroom teachers be given more authority to deal with disciplinary problems. Corporal punishment should be used when appropriate, and we encourage the legislature to strengthen existing immunity laws respecting corporal punishment."

If there's one thing that history has shown us, it is that beating people when you don't like what they're doing is always a good idea.

"We support the return of Bibles and other religious books to the shelves of all public schools and libraries."

What do you know, I support that, too! They should be filed under "fiction." Unless, of course, there is a dedicated "fantasy" shelf.

"The Party urges that the IRS be abolished and the Sixteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution be repealed. We further urge that the personal income tax, inheritance (death) tax, gift tax, capital gains, corporate income tax, and payroll tax be eliminated."

In other words, no money for anything.

"We further support the abolition of federal agencies [. . .] including, but not limited to, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms; the position of Surgeon General; the Environmental Protection Agency; the Departments of Energy, Housing and Urban Development, Health and Human Services, Education, Commerce, and Labor. These authorities should be eliminated or, where needed, transferred to the state or local governments. We also call for the de–funding and abolition of the National Endowment for the Arts and the Public Broadcasting System."

Ah, I guess you don't need those taxes after all.

"The Party opposes any foreign or international military base on American soil."

Something tells me the Party supports American military bases on foreign soil . . .

"The Party believes it is in the best interest of the citizens of the United States that we immediately rescind our membership in, as well as all financial and military contributions to, the United Nations."

Fuck off, world!

I am reminded of that bumper sticker: If you aren't completely appalled you haven't been paying attention!

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